Pregnant thoughts from a pregnant woman

I always enjoyed being pregnant when I first had Em 12 years ago... no complications, no unpleasantness, no weird cravings... just the nice knowledge that life was flourishing inside my body.

The experience is definitely one that I'm grateful I can have... I wouldn't give it up for anything.

As for the second time around... well, I'm almost 30 years old now, and things have changed slightly. Years of smoking have made me sluggish, yet years of working out have made me stronger. I didn't have any real morning sickness either time around (thank Heavens!), and have only felt slight discomforts in this go-round. I don't remember ligaments stretching out before... but I can certainly feel them these days. I was not quite as active during my first pregnancy, but I am hating the 'toning it down' aspect of this one. I feel invincible... until I feel a cramping pain in my abdomen and have to remind myself there is life in there and I need to take it easy.

There is a lot I want to do and a lot of activities in which I'd like to partake, and yet I am not limited by a child whose face I have yet to see. It is an odd feeling, and yet exhilarating to know that every action I take and decision I make is directly impacting the life growing in my womb.

I have read about all the activities I should avoid (as well as the foods and beverages), and don't feel too limited except for by my own abilities. I can still do karate, but alas, my kicks no longer go over my head, and my stances have risen considerable. I can still do calisthenics, as long as I avoid ab workouts like sit ups or other strenuous activities. I've had to recently drop to my knees for 'girly' push ups as the strain of real ones has been relatively painful. While I don't feel weaker, I certainly don't want to get that way either, and have to walk the fine line of maintaining my own health and strength without jeopardizing that of my new daughter.

Caffeine (or lack thereof) is my biggest pregnancy trial. I am a coffee drinker, and miss it terribly. I am no saint, I still partake is a daily dosage... but only a small one, then spend the rest of my days wishing for another, and sorrowfully downing my bottled water, or decaffeinated, highly caloric sprite or fruit juice instead. (My coffee and diet Dr. Pepper that I used to consume had no calories... this is an injustice to pregnant women. I also find myself more often than ever desiring the few foods that I am supposed to limit, such as fish. I was never a huge fish consumer... but now, I'm finding that a few ounces a week is too trivial, and always wanting more. Luckily those I enjoy the most are fairly low in mercury and therefore fairly safe for me and my fetus.

As for my body... oh, it's a-changin'. It started with a widening of the hips, almost instantaneously, and at about four months, the belly started to protrude. While I'm starting to look the part, at 23 weeks along, I know I'll only get bigger and am well aware of the damage my figure will suffer and the hardships I'll have in getting back my body after birth. The odd thing is, I don't 'feel' pregnant... not yet at least. If it weren't for the lack of my monthly visitor, the shapeliness of my hips and stomach and a slight fluttering I feel occasionally when at rest, I wouldn't know I was pregnant at all. I am waiting for the day when the real kicking gets started, and when I can't so much as touch my toes any longer. Maybe then it will truly hit me. I can't wait for Trent to be able to feel the kicking either. It's a totally beautiful life changing thing to feel your child's movements, and the closest he can get to contact for another four months.

All in all, the pregnancy is going well, and I can't wait to meet my new baby. I have a feeling she'll be tiny in comparison to Em at birth, and hope that means she'll stay a precious baby for that much longer! I can't wait!